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Written by Dr. Joel Wade
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Wednesday, 22 December 2004 |
Christmas is a wonderful time to remember all that we have to be grateful for. And as I’ve pointed out here in Three Good Things, the best way to generate a spirit of gratitude is to reflect on the good things that have happened in your life each day. This week’s suggestion is designed to get you in the spirit of gratitude, and also to prepare you for your New Year’s resolutions next week.
Here’s your task: Look back on the year’s events, and find one hundred good things that have happened in your life. Does that seem like a lot? You might be very surprised once you get into the swing of it how very many good things have happened for you this year; that is, after all, less than one good thing every three days.
Don’t be concerned with the size or the drama of the good things. Any good things will do. Hopefully there have been a few big things that have been very good, very impressive, and very important to you this year. But I think you’ll find as you look back on the year’s blessings, that there have been many, many smaller good things. You may also find that there are a great many things that you have habituated - you are so used to them that you really hardly notice them anymore.
Use this exercise to think of these as well. If you appreciate what you have habituated, you get to savor goodness that might otherwise have gone unnoticed - like the rich but subtle flavors of a gourmet meal.
I had a very sweet time with my kids yesterday at the local rock climbing gym. We spent two or three hours there, had a great time together; they climbed well and impressed themselves (and me). Had I been dwelling on the long list of tasks I have to get done before - well, before now, come to think of it - I may have missed completely the joy of the afternoon.
I could have been distracted and irritable, thinking of all the business to attend to, the chores yet to be done, the gifts I have yet to find, etc. The kids may have had some fun, but not so much as we ended up having, because they would have been with a grumpy Dad, and not a happy Dad. (I also got to be a happy Dad, which is valuable in itself.)
That afternoon is now a memory. From here I have roughly two choices: 1) I can think about it and savor it from time to time, as I would a photograph I keep on the wall in plain view, or 2) I can tuck it away and forget about it, like the boxes of photographs we keep stored away, somewhere or other.
By looking for the hundred good things, you will in effect be going through your picture box from the year, and taking out 100 of your favorite memories from 2004. Block out some time in your schedule to do this, so that you can savor these memories as you write them out in a list.
Doing this will also give you an idea of what kinds of things have meaning to you. What events contributed most to your happiness this year? You may be surprised to find as you look back, that you spent less time over this past year focused on making these sorts of things happen than you did making other, less valuable things happen. If you find this to be the case to some degree, then you’ll have a better idea of what you might want to focus on during the coming year.
Look back on what you have done to make a good life during the past year, and then you can use that information to help design a great year for yourself in 2005. Find your strengths, find your joys, find your gratitude, and design your life more around these.
And have a very Merry Christmas!
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