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Written by To The Point News
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Friday, 02 May 2008 |
English is a crazy language.
There's no egg in eggplant, no ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in
pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England, nor French fries in
France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads aren't sweet and they sure
aren't made of bread.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing
rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor a pig. You can make amends but not one amend. If
you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do
you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian
eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people
recite at a play and play at a recital? Or ship by truck and send cargo by
ship? Park in a driveway, and drive on a parkway? Have noses that run and feet
that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise
man and a wise guy are opposites?
How can your house burn up
as it burns down, how can you fill in a form by filling it out, how can an
alarm go off by going on?
It drives people crazy trying to
learn to speak English. Here are some
reasons why:
The bandage was wound around the
wound.
The farm was used to produce
produce.
The garbage dump was so full
that it had to refuse more refuse.
He could lead if he would get
the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert
from the army in the desert.
When shot at, the dove dove into
the bushes.
I did not object to being the
object of her affection.
The insurance was invalid for
the invalid.
They were too close to the door
to close it.
The buck does funny things when
the does are present.
The wind was too strong to wind
the sail.
After a number of injections my
jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the
painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to
a series of tests.
English was invented by people,
not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which (of
course) is not a race at all. That's why when the stars are out they're
visible, but when the lights are out they're invisible.
P.S. Why doesn't
"Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
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