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Written by To The Point News
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Friday, 24 July 2009 |
Washington (FO News Agency).
Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of
America will be outsourced to India as of September 1, 2009.
The move is
being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly salary, and also a
record $750 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead that his
office has incurred during the last 6 months.
It is
anticipated that $7 trillion can be saved to the end of the President's term. "We
believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge," stated Congressman Thomas
Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the
current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.
Mr. Obama
was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for
the job move have been underway for some time.
Gurvinder
Singh, a tele-technician for Indus Teleservices, Mumbai India, will assume the office
of President as of September 1, 2009. The 36 year-old Mr.
Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing
at Niagara Falls, NY, thus making him eligible for the position (at least as
much as Mr. Obama). He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but
no health coverage or other benefits.
It is
believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference
between the US and India , he will be working
primarily at night.
"Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated
Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I
am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President,"
exclaimed Mr. Singh.
A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully
aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be
a problem as Mr. Obama had never been familiar with the issues either.
Mr. Singh
will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to
most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common
concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at all.
"We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "Mr. Obama has used them successfully
for years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what he
was talking about."
Mr. Obama
will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of
employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a
week unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for
Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit.
Mr. Obama
has been provided with the outplacement
services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his
upcoming job transition.
According to Manpower, however, Obama may have difficulties in securing a
new position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his lifetime.
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