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THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT |
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Written by To The Point News
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Friday, 02 July 2010 |
The highest level of language development is the ability to make and understand
puns. Here are the ten first
place winners in the recent International Pun Contest:
1. A vulture
boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and
says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says
"Dam!"
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak
and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The
other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of
chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby
discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to
disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said," I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an
open foyer."
7. A woman has
twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt
and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain;
they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to
his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she
wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're
twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8. A group of
friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist
shop to raise funds.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist
across town thought the competition was unfair.
He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back
and begged the friars to close.
They ignored him.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most
vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.
Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they
didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd
diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him... get ready, here it comes... a super calloused fragile mystic
hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to
friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them
laugh. No pun in ten did.
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