PROPOSED DIVORCE AND SEPARATION AGREEMENT
Dear American Liberals, Leftists, Social Progressives, Socialists, Marxists, and Obama Supporters, et al:
As a law student, I have drawn up a divorce & separation agreement on behalf of my fellow Conservative Americans and you.
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know, we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but, sadly, this relationship has run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot, and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile, chalk it up to irreconcilable differences, and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement: