WORLD CUP VISITORS FROM EUROPE TELL US THEIR 13 MOST SURPRISING DISCOVERIES IN AMERICA
Babylon Bee
June 26, 2026
The World Cup has brought real excitement to these American shores, and not just in the form of soccer, but in the innocent, wide-eyed discoveries of European tourists experiencing the United States for the first time.
Here are some of their most surprising discoveries:
- Football is actually called "soccer": All this time, they were calling it by the wrong name.
- Americans prefer a sport called "baseball" where no one kicks anything: How can you have a sport with no kicks?
- It's surprisingly difficult to be stabbed by a Muslim: You can find it on any street corner in the UK or Paris
- The police won't raid your house if you share a meme: Go ahead and be funny, Europeans.
- Currency is not multicolored and the size of a manila envelope: You can actually fit it in your pocket.
- Americans are even fatter than expected: Given the abundance of delicious food, it's no surprise.
- Trump is not actually out on the streets murdering minorities: The BBC has been lying this whole time.
- No one has heard of many small European countries: Most Americans just assume Moldova is a prescription drug to fight plaque psoriasis.
- Americans don't take six-hour lunch breaks or have a designated nap time: What are they, machines?
- There are designated places where highly trained professionals will clean your teeth: What type of sorcery is this?
- There's a strange concept here called "liberty": This is likely a reference to an old wooden ship from the Civil War.
- Knight Rider isn't real: This is among the most disappointing revelations.
- Everyone hates Meghan Markle here, too: Maybe America has more in common with the rest of the world than previously believed.
America is truly the greatest country on earth. What do you think a foreigner would find most appealing about the United States? Let us know in the comments.
~ Babylon Bee reporting
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