ENTIRE WATER POLO TEAM DROWNS KNEELING FOR NATIONAL ANTHEM
IRVINE, CA—Tragedy has struck once again. The entire men's U.S. water polo team has drowned after kneeling during the national anthem in an exhibition game today, sources confirmed moments ago.
As soon as the flag was unfurled and the national anthem started to play, all the polo players swam to the bottom of the pool and took a knee. The anthem lasted a long time, as the singer decided to add all those weird vocal fills to change things up.
Unfortunately, it lasted so long that the entire team took in too much water and died.
"Yes, this is a tragedy -- but it's also a victory for the social justice movement," said the team's coach in a somber press conference. "They couldn't breathe and they took a knee -- what powerful reminders of the injustices in this country."
"MMMM!!!" said one polo player moments before his untimely demise. "MMM! MMM! MMMMMM!!!"
Analysts believe he was trying to scream "Black Lives Matter" before he succumbed to unconsciousness.











The ramshackle Club Obama is a shed on stilts above a garbage dump of a beach in Conakry, the capital of the West African country of Guinea. It doesn’t get much business anymore because Obama is no longer popular here. Guineans thought he would flood them with US taxpayer dollars but he didn’t. “Obama did nothing for us,” they’ll tell you.

