RUMINATION AND ITS ANTIDOTE
It’s what ruminants (cows, sheep, goats, deer, giraffes, buffalo, and antelope) do with grass so they can draw as much of the nutritional value from it as they can.
When we dwell too much on what hurt us in the past, we are ruminating. We “re-chew” our negative thoughts and memories, drawing as much pain and suffering out of them as we possibly can.
This is one of the worst things we can do for our sense of happiness and well-being.
The compulsion to ruminate can be powerful, especially if we’ve practiced it a lot. We can develop an irresistible urge to replay the events that have made us miserable.
Yet some of the popular notions from psychotherapy can lead people to believe this is a good thing. We think we are figuring something out. In fact, it’s more like re-striking a bruised injury thinking that will help it to heal.
When we purposefully remember painful memories over and over again, without changing our perspective towards them, we actually reinforce the pain with each visit.
Remember, our narrative memories aren’t facts, they are stories that can contain facts—but they can also contain mistaken ideas or conclusions. So when we ruminate we are not exploring Truth with a capital “T,” we are replaying a painful and helpless story.
I don’t say this to deny anybody’s experience or to minimize anybody’s trauma, but the best thing we can do with painful experiences is to have them take their proper place in history.
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