HALF-FULL REPORT 04/13/12
As I unquestionably make the best piña colada in the known universe, I am compelled to start the HFR with the thrilling medical news released Wednesday (4/11) that Drinking Alcohol May Significantly Enhance Problem Solving Skills.
Researchers at the University of Illinois demonstrated that two pints of beer or two glasses of wine enable guys to think more creatively and solve brain teasers more quickly. Since my piña colada , in addition to a fully sufficient quantity of rum, contains Durk Pearson's brain nutrition formula, it's got to do better than a couple of brewskis. Too bad it's so early in the day. The sun won't be over the yardarm for hours.
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From Norkland, comes what is surely the week's most hilarious news. It can be lethal to embarrass and humiliate a god - or someone who believes he should be worshipped as a god. A 28 year-old kid who's trying to step into his grandfather's and father's megalomaniacal shoes and establish his own godlike personality cult now has the whole world laughing at him.
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Speaking of embarrassment... the world's biggest scandal is currently engulfing Norkland's giant neighbor, China. There are hundreds of millions of Chinese, inside China and overseas, transfixed by it, with literally thousands of websites and blogs commenting daily - for the story is like a script from a Hollywood blockbuster movie.