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ZERO OLDIES BUT GOODIES

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Dear God,
So far this year you have taken away my favorite entertainer B.B King, favorite actor Mr. Spock Leonard Nimoy, and favorite actress Anita Ekberg.

Just so you know, my favorite politician is Barack Obama.

That’s my prayer for the night, God. Thank you.

Q. What do GOD and Barack Obama have in common?
A. GOD does not have a birth certificate either.

Q. What is the difference between GOD and Barack Obama?
A. GOD does not think he is Obama.

Why will Obama hold a séance once he’s in the White House?
A. So that he can thank everybody who voted for him.

What will America’s national bird be when Obama takes office?
A. His middle finger.

Q. What is the difference between President Obama and Karl Marx?
A. Nobody knows.

Q. Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?
A. It stands between him and the First.

What is the difference between Jimmy Carter and Barack Obama?
A. Carter is the worst President in the 20th Century.

Why did Senator Ted Kennedy vote for Barack Obama?
A. Brain tumor.

Q. Why did Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Jimmy doesn’t want to be the worst President in history.

Q. Why did Senator Hillary Clinton vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he stole the primary election fair and square.

Q. Why did Jane Fonda vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.

Q. Why did Ho Chi Minh vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.

Q. What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A. Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.

Q Why is Oprah supporting Obama?
A She has a history of supporting frauds.

Q. What made Barack help a Chicago slumlord to victimize the poor?
A. The check.

Q. Why does Barack want higher taxes?
A. Cause he won’t be the one paying them.

Q. Why does Barack Obama support our servicemen?
A. He doesn’t.

Why is Barack Obama running for office as a Democrat?
A. The Communist Party didn’t have enough voters.

Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry Obama to Barack Obama?
A. He thought “Barry” sounded too American.

Q. What do Obama Messiah followers drink?
A. Koolaid, of course.

Q: Obama and Hillary are both on a sinking ship in the Pacific. Who is saved?
A: America

Q: What’s the difference between Michelle Obama and former First Lady, Hillary Clinton?
A: Hillary Clinton was an ambitious lawyer from Little Rock who used her husband’s charm and political skill to advocate her own radical liberal policies. Michelle Obama, on the other hand, is from Chicago.

Q: Did you hear Obama say that black fathers should take more responsibility in their children’s lives?
A: He left it on his dad’s answering machine.

Q: What did Obama say when Al Gore offered him advice?
A: I’m all ears!

Q: What’s the problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don’t think they’re funny and other people don’t think they’re jokes.