GLOBAL WARMING COMES TO AMERICA
Soon children will have forgotten what snow looks like...
See that white stuff floating down past the orange trees and landing on your alligators and manatees, Florida? That's global warming, that is.
See that frozen white thing by the harbor that used to look like a green woman with a spiky headdress, New York? That's global warming, that is.
How do we know this? Because Bryan Walsh of Time magazine says so. And, of course, so does the Guardian say so....
Everything's global warming, America. Didn't you get the message yet from your President Zero (or is that President Zero Degrees now, TTPers?) and John Kerry and Al Gore and James Hansen, the whole GloWarm Gang? Everything!
That's why, if ever any of you want to see a day of sunshine again in your miserable, too-selfish-to-change-your-lifestyle carbon-addicted lives, here are a few things you absolutely are going to have to do: