TUCKER CARLSON UNCOVERS SHOCKING EVIDENCE THAT ISRAEL CONTROLLED BY JEWS
TEL AVIV — Shortly after landing at Ben Gurion Airport to conduct an interview with U.S. Ambassador Mike Huckabee, commentator Tucker Carlson reportedly uncovered shocking evidence that Israel is controlled by the Jews.
"I'm seeing the Star of David everywhere. Why is that?" Carlson reportedly asked his producer. "And I see this scribbly language, but it doesn't look Arabic. I'm familiar with Arabic. Like, really familiar — AHAHAHAHA! This almost looks like Hebrew, but surely not."
CCTV footage appeared to show that, as Carlson waited for Huckabee to arrive for their interview, he was browsing brochures set aside for visitors. The more he read, however, the more radicalized he became. Carlson began frantically pointing at them, showing his team every time he saw the word "Jewish."
Carlson said, "I don't know what's going on here. I don't have all the facts. I'm just a podcast host, clearly. But I just saw someone asking people to report suspicious packages. Like they think Muslims are going to leave bombs in the airport. But that's blood guilt! That seems like something Jews would do. Nothing against Jews, I have friends who are Jews. I love Jews. But Jews are obviously evil and psychotic for assuming Muslims hate them. Reporting suspicious packages is wrong! That's tribalism! That's blood guilt! Period!"
According to sources, Carlson, ever the professional, tried to push these thoughts to the back of his mind because he was not a conspiracy theorist obsessed with the Jews. He didn't bring the subject up again until he was face-to-face with the ambassador to Israel himself.
Witnesses present at the time of the interview said it did not go well for anyone involved.
"First question, are Jews running Israel?" Carlson reportedly asked.
Huckabee looked taken aback, clearly surprised by the question. "Well, yes," he said.
Then Carlson laid down the hammer. "Okay, quick follow-up: Who's paying you? Who do you work for?"
At publishing time, Tucker Carlson had been detained by the IDF after accusing them of secretly being on the payroll of Israel.
~ Reporting by Babylon Bee
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