NOMINEE FOR TOP CRIMINAL JUSTICE POSITION INTERVIEWED BY NATION’S TOP CRIMINALS
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an electrifying several hours on Capitol Hill, a nominee for the nation's top criminal justice position was interviewed by the nation's top criminals.
Kash Patel, Trump's pick to lead the FBI, fielded questions from America's lowest and most despicable lawbreakers ahead of his confirmation vote in the Senate.
"I have serious concerns about your character, Mr. Patel," said Senator Whitehouse, a notorious DC criminal. "Based on things you've said in the past, it seems you want to turn the FBI into a law enforcement agency to be weaponized against criminals. I find this unsettling and deeply disqualifying."
Sources say Patel simply responded with a silent, unblinking stare.
Senator Amy Klobuchar, another dangerous lawbreaker who has thus far evaded capture by police, expressed similar concerns. "EEEEEEEEEEEE!" said Klobuchar in a forceful monologue during the hearing. "EEEEEEEEEEK EEEEEEEEKKKK!"
The rest of Klobuchar's statement was not recorded as technicians mercifully turned her microphone off.
At publishing time, Patel's fate was still up in the air as the gang of criminals deliberated on whether to confirm him.
In a related development, Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-BigPharma) paused the hearing of RFK Jr. for HHS Secretary to announce that the next line of questions would be sponsored by Pfizer.
- Babylon Bee reporting
Join the forum discussion on this post
And what a Golden Family – there’s Tiffany. Eric, Ivanka, Donald Jr. and Barron, with First Lady Melania holding the Bibles (Trump’s and Lincoln’s). Class, beauty, masculinity, and patriotism are back in style. As is entrepreneurship and meritocracy, epitomized by Elon right behind the First Family.

Donald Trump is once again President – and his second administration promises to be more Trumpian than ever.

Democrats are in freefall.
Vladimir Putin’s plan to outlast Joe Biden and an exhausted West has run into an unpleasant surprise – Donald Trump is surrounding himself with pro-Ukrainian hardliners.
Senate Democrats who are considering holding up the confirmations of President Donald Trump’s cabinet appointments might want to rethink that course of action.
President Donald Trump was so busy on his first day in office that it’s been a challenge to cover everything that he did.





