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Wednesday, February 11, 2026

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MORE THAN YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT PATERNITY


I can't pass this one up.  DNA testing that shows among Anna Nicole Smith's multiple lovers, a fellow named Larry Birkhead is the father of her daughter provides such an exquisitely teachable moment about paternity - well, it's simply impossible for me to resist.

This is going to be fun.  We'll start with a discussion of what scientists delightfully call "sperm wars."  Let's first discuss those conducted by chimpanzees.  They give the phrase "flooding the zone" a whole new meaning.

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JUST HOW ANTI-DEMOCRACY PRO-DICTATORSHIP IS OBAMA?


President Barack Hussein Obama's State Department waited until the cusp of Labor Day weekend before publicly backing Latin America's dictators in their assault on democracy.

Our thug-worshipping diplomats figured they'd slip it by us. With the nation focused on barbecues and the beach, they announced that, if Venezuelan strongman Hugo Chavez's client, Manuel Zelaya, isn't returned to power in Honduras, the United States won't recognize the results of that country's upcoming free elections.

Mr. Obama hasn't uttered a single word of criticism for the dictatorships of Chavez or his protégés in Ecuador and Bolivia, nor once demanded free elections in Cuba.  But he's going to show those wicked Hondurans, by Hugo! They can't boot out a crazy leftwing president just because he's trying to subvert their Constitution.

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HALF-FULL REPORT 04/25/08


We open the HFR this week by asking:  Dare we hope for Hillary?

It's a fun debate over who would be easier for McCain to beat, Obambi or the PIAPS, almost as much fun as watching them rip each other's political guts out.  McCain could score a Reagnesque electoral victory over either of these two losers, but I want him to go up against Her Shrillness.  There's suddenly real hope that he will...

... Which brings us to the delightful subject of the North Carolina GOP Anti-Obama ad.  It is fabulous -- And it is really funny to see how many smart conservatives - even Rush Limbaugh who's normally really smart - have been suckered by John McCain's denouncing it...

... Let's raise a more than half-full glass of congratulations to the brave leaders of the North Carolina Republican Party.  We need more Republicans with their courage.  What we need fewer of is the editorial writers of the New York Times, whose op-eds provide the propaganda marching orders for the entire liberal media.  Looks like we get our wish...

... We close the HFR this week with absolutely the most thrilling and uplifting headline of recent times:  Food Crisis Starts Eclipsing Climate Change Worries

How great is that?  Nothing like a little mass world-wide starvation to make people doubt in the religious dogma of warm-mongering.  Finally - finally - it just may be that people aren't willing to go back to the Stone Age in order to placate Algore.

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PROFESSIONAL AT BEING OBLIVIOUS


If you knew how to make life better for your fellow Americans, would you? The political class in Washington constantly claims it "cares about you," but when it comes to policy many do just the opposite.

Most people understand the Republicans messed up by allowing nondefense spending to grow faster than the economy. The Democrats ran against the irresponsible Republicans by claiming they would be "fiscally responsible."

So, rather than present a budget that would reduce the growth rate of domestic spending, they have just proposed one that would increase it, even above Republican proposals, and require increases in taxes.

You can only wonder if they are even more brain dead than the Republicans.

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THE POISON THAT IS KILLING THE WEST


The media photo that best explains the Iranian seizure of 15 British sailors and marines last Friday (3/23) is not one that shows them eating and "being well cared for," nor of female sailor Faye Turney wearing a Moslem headscarf.

It is this one of a "Walk of Witness" parade in London the day after the hostage seizure (Saturday 3/24) that had nothing to do with it:

so_sorry

3,000 people wearing color-of-mourning black T-shirts saying "So Sorry" paraded in front of Big Ben and the Parliament Building to mark the 200th anniversary of the law abolishing the slave trade throughout the British Empire. 

What were these people so sorry about?  You would think that this would be a joyous occasion, the bicentennial celebration of a historically heroic British achievement - the abolishment of the slave trade.

But no, these self-flagellants were in deep mortification over the previous existence of what was abolished - an institution as old as history, accepted by every civilization for thousands of years.  They perverted something morally noble into an excuse for feeling morally guilty.  This is the poison that is killing the West, the poison that empowers the evil of the West's enemies such as the mullahs of Iran.

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A GAGGED GENERAL, A TRAPPED PRESIDENT, A MUDDLED MISSION


The classified status report from Afghanistan by Gen. Stanley McChrystal was censored by the White House before its submission. As a result, it's all bun and no burger.

The administration preferred a politically expedient blah-blah "report" that grants the White House a time-out. But there's no time-out for our soldiers and Marines (our enemies won't listen to the ref). Guess who pays the price while Obama plays Hamlet?

The result? We've got a general who's been gagged, a president trapped by his campaign promises, a muddled mission, crippling restrictions on our troops, a resurgent enemy, a worthless Afghan government -- and an AWOL establishment media that, after hammering the Bush administration, gives Obama a pass on American casualties.

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HALF-FULL REPORT 04/11/08


The HFR this week salutes Absolut Vodka for its absolute stupidity in running an ad depicting pre-1836 Mexico as a map of  "an ideal Absolut world."

These Swedish marketing geniuses were inundated with emails like the one I sent, informing them that I shall never, ever, buy a bottle of Absolut for the rest of my life.  I encourage you to make the same vow...

... The good news continues in South Korea.  The triumph this week of newly-elected president Lee Myung-bak's Grand National Party in parliamentary elections cementing Lee's majority control of the government means his plans for overthrowing Kim Jong-il's communist regime and unifying Korea can proceed...

... The HFR raises a glass of no-pity to the terrorist-loving Palestinians of Gaza...

...and a glass of schadenfreude to Oprah Winfrey, who has seen her popularity and tv-show ratings take a nose dive since she came out in support of Barack Hussein Obama, Jr...

...while celebrating the unfolding exposure of Obambi as a crook and a lightweight.  The more one looks past Obambi's smooth rhetoric, the uglier it gets.  And the squishier.  For it's his ballbreaker wife, Michelle, who has the cojones in the family, not him.  More and more now, it's becoming clear:  Obama is a pussy.

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THE INSANITY OF APRIL 15


Are you absolutely sure you paid the exact amount of income tax you owed last year -- not too much and not too little?

I am willing to bet the vast majority of those reading this paid either too much or too little -- not because they intended to but because the tax code is so complex it is almost impossible to know precisely the right number.

As Americans sit down to file their taxes before the infamous April 15 deadline, most will feel some anxiety and many will feel trapped - trapped in a system they cannot understand, nor can they obtain the help that will fairly represent them against the government or protect them against having their hard earned monies misspent.

At this moment, some in Congress are on a rant about the unsupported claim that more than $300 billion in taxes due last year were not collected, and demanding even more coercive measures.

Why is there not equal outrage in Congress about all the Americans who pay too much each year because they cannot understand, or the IRS has made it too costly to obtain, the deductions to which they are legally entitled?

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CORN COBS AND ENERGY INDEPENDENCE


Yes, corn cobs, not corn, meaning the rip-off scam of ethanol perpetrated upon us by Archer Daniels Midland and the corn farmer lobby.

The latest exposé of the ethanol scam is that in the current (3/19/07) issue of Business Week, Ethanol's Growing List of Enemies.

Energy independence is the key to solving one of our gravest economic problems, the trade deficit - of which oil imports account for over 40% -- and the key to defeating Islamofascism. 

What if we just didn't care anymore about Saudi oil?

And corn cobs - corn cobs - may be the key to energy independence.  Thanks to scientists in Missouri.

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THE CONSEQUENCES OF A HUG-AND-APPEASEMENT FOREIGN POLICY


In Iraq on Monday (8/24), Islamist terrorists staged massive suicide bombings in Baghdad. Over a hundred Iraqis died, with more than a thousand wounded. The foreign and finance ministries lie in rubble. The Iraqi government is reeling.

Our president went to the beach.

In Afghanistan, the Taliban crippled the national elections so severely that the eventual "winner" won't have much of a mandate. Despite madcap ballot-box stuffing, the final tally will probably show that less than half of the eligible population voted -- fewer than one in five in the crucial south.   On Sunday (8/23), Adm. Mike Mullen, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs, admitted that the Afghan situation is "serious and deteriorating."

That's what happens when, instead of killing our enemies, we try hugs.

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HALF-FULL REPORT 04/18/08


The HFR can stand only so much good news.  How can it report on things half-full when the glass is overflowing?  So this week we'll have to use one of those huge beer steins from which Bavarians imbibe at the Munich Hofbraühaus:

hofbrauhaus

We begin, of course with Obama The Infantilizomaniac. 

snobama-lg_copy

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THE CLUELESS NAGS OF FOGGY BOTTOM


Why do non-Americans so dislike Americans or, at least, the American government?  Could part of the reason be because the U.S. State Department appears to think its mission is to be rude, insulting and condescending?

This month, the State Department has set a new record by managing to insult the citizens of 123 different lands at one time in the International Narcotics Control Strategy Report: Volume II, Money Laundering and Financial Crimes.

The 450-page report discusses what other countries are doing to reduce money laundering and financial crimes, which is fine. But then the authors go on gratuitously lecturing each of the countries by name about how they could do things "better."

The Report, produced by the global nannies and nags at State, is filled with endless demands that other countries do a better job enforcing their laws, pass more laws, sign more international treaties and engage in some practices that would be illegal and unconstitutional in the U.S.   

Some examples:

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WHERE’S THE DEMOCRATS’ FRED THOMPSON?


Oodles of media ink have been spent discussing conservative frustration over the current "top tier" of Republican presidential candidates.  Giuliani, Romney, McCain - none of them ring conservatives' bells.  Thus the latest tingling of excitement over Fred Thompson.

The son of a used-car salesman in Alabama, Thompson is both fully conservative and fully presidential.  The Dems don't have anyone like him.

Thus the frustration among the Dems regarding their "top tier" - only two, Hillary and Gumby - is far greater and far more frightening to them than any distress among the GOP.

It is dawning on the Dems that Hillary is just too plain unlikeable to be electable.  And it is beginning to dawn on them that The Obamarama's 15 minutes of frenzied fame is about over.  It's all smile and phony personal story.  He's got nothing interesting or substantive to say.

So as he flames out, Dems are desperate for an alternative.  And I'm getting excited about their desperation, for all the buzz here on Capitol Hill is that they are getting excited about Algore.

Could we be lucky enough to face Al in '08?

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ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION AND THE DECONSTRUCTION OF CALIFORNIA


The financial unraveling of California currently on display in Sacramento has prompted a long overdue debate on what caused the seeming demise of the once most prosperous state of the union.

Outrageous retirement and health care demands on the taxpayer by public employees, and sabotaging the economy through ever more onerous regulations and pie-in-the-sky environmental fantasies like renewable energy, have run against the limits of abuse the system can take and must be sharply scaled down one way or another if California is to remain economically viable.

Unfortunately, there is yet another problem that presents an even greater systemic threat to California, even if the ones above were to be somehow fixed. A problem known to all that neither the state's mercenary political establishment nor its politically correct media dare even mention. 

It is the irreparable damage to California's human capital potential that nearly 30 years of unrestrained illegal immigration has done.

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HALF-FULL REPORT 04/04/08


"Ted Turner Offers To Commit Suicide To End Global Warming."

That should have been the headline for this story, in which the founder of CNN declared:

"We're too many people; that's why we have global warming."

The HFR couldn't agree more with you on this, Ted - with one caveat.  What we actually have is too many people like you.  Anyone who believes there are too many people inhabiting the earth has only one moral and consistent path of action to take:

Start reducing the human population by starting with themselves, i.e., commit suicide.

The world really will be much better off without you, Ted.  Trust us on this.  We don't care how you do it - slit your wrists, drink Draino, whatever - just don't take anyone else along with you unless it's Jane Fonda.

In the meantime, the HFR thanks you for so clearly reminding everyone what an incredible idiot you are, and how every time you open your mouth, you do grave damage to the credibility of the commie causes you mindlessly espouse.

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